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Research shows that most people think strict parenting produces better-behaved kids.However, research studies on discipline consistently show that strict, or authoritarian, child-raising actually produces kids with lower self esteem who behave worse than other kids -- and therefore get punished more!There is no internal tool more valuable for kids than self-discipline, but it develops from the internalization of loving limits.No one likes to be controlled, so it's not surprising that kids reject limits that aren't empathic.It is especially important that parents give children a good start, but it's also important for parents to recognize that kids come into the world with their own temperaments, and it is the parents' job to provide an interface with the world that eventually prepares a child for complete independence.In a rapidly changing world, parenting seems subject to fads and changing styles, and parenting in some ways has become a competitive sport.
Read more One of our top 25 most-viewed parenting articles: "Strong-Willed Women Mothering Strong-Willed Children." It can be tough to parent a younger version of yourself.
Well, if kids do what you want because they fear you, how is that different than bullying? They're left lonely, trying to sort out for themselves how to overcome their "lesser" impulses.
They learn to obey, but they don't learn to think for themselves.
But the needs of child development as delineated by science remain relatively stable.
There is such a thing as overparenting, and aiming for perfection in parenting might be a fool's mission.